29. Slow Fall

There has been much energy flowing around my life this winter, as I'm still recovering from a fall on some ice. The energy in my life has taken me places I didn't always want to go, yet I knew I had to go there. Navigating the different energy spheres in my life has on occasion been noisy, cluttered and busy in unpleasant ways. In those times I've felt more like a one-handed juggler, as I could see what needed to happen but I couldn't always reach everything calling for my attention. Because of this I haven't always felt as if I've been as organic as before my fall, yet I think I have been. The energy to heal your body is not as subtle as the energy of everyday life or the energy of finding your way through a play. Healing energy is big and obvious and you may not feel as if you're being organic, even when you are, so I'm only beginning to feel as if I'm a writer again and to feel capable of finding and understanding the organic energy. Normal or everyday organic energy is a subtle thing. In this busy workaday world where everyone is multitasking and checking e-mail every three seconds, it can be difficult to discern where the energy is and what the energy is trying to tell you. It helps me to slow things down, to go for walks, long walks and to find or make time to be contemplative. Within the deeper levels of contemplation, I find the necessary quiet I need to tap into the energy, to know where it is and to have a sense of which direction the energy is pulling me or my play. It is in the quiet that I find the clearest and most organic connection to the energy. So where does this leave me or take me? If there is one thing from this I'll take with me, it is to look for the positive in the negative, because it is buried somewhere in there--and to beware of the negative in the positive, because it too is buried in there.

originally posted March 2014
reposted March 2018

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